I'm really excited about a new series we've started in my Sunday school class. We are going to be going through the book of Ecclesiastes. I'm excited because something I have struggled with for a long time is sense of purposelessness and bordem that comes with the every day tasks of life. I often get into these ruts where I feel like I do the same thing every day and I really start to wonder..."What is the point?!" It's hard to be motivated to do much when you don't feel like there's any meaning behind it. Now, the solution should be obvious and I knew in my mind what the problem was and even how to fix it but sometimes God has to hit me upside the head.
We just did a basic overview of the book this past week. Just trying to figure out what the book is about. The writer (I believe it was Solomon but apparently there is some debate about it) is frustrated with the age old question: "What is the meaning of life?" He wondered the same thing I often do: Is there any point to what I do every day? (Ecc. 1:2-3 "Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?") We came to the conclusion in class that the reason he felt there was no purpose in his life and all the pleasures of the world couldn't fill this emptieness he felt inside was because he wasn't living with God at the center of his life. Everything on this earth is temporary. How can temporary things ever bring lasting joy or satisfaction? It seems as though all we ever do is work to eat, eat to live, and live to work. An endless, dull cycle. If all we live for are the temporary things of life (i.e- a job, a relationship, money, possessions, entertainment etc...) we will be left feeling empty and when those things disapear or get old we cease to have a reason for living. Thus the feeling of "What's the point?" comes over us and we are unmotivated to live the life we are supposed to.
We received a handout in class and at the bottom was the following evaluation:
Complete the self-evaluation privately to help determine whether or not you are living with God at the center of your life. One indicates the statement is not at all descriptive of you; five meaning the statement is very descriptive of you.
I respond to difficult circumstances by becoming depressed.
1 2 3 4 5
I find it difficult to motivate myself to do mundane tasks.
1 2 3 4 5
I only think of God's presence with me when I am at church or with other believers.
1 2 3 4 5
I seem to be living from thrill to thrill.
1 2 3 4 5
I delay dealing with problems by immersing myself in hobbies or interests.
1 2 3 4 5
I lay awake at night while anxious thoughts flood my mind.
1 2 3 4 5
I don't spend much time in prayer.
1 2 3 4 5
If I'm being honest (and if you've ever read my blog before, you know that's what I strive for), I have to answer at least a 3 on every single one of those. Most of them are a 4 and a few are right on the nose...a 5. When I read those, it was like a slap in the face. Ouch... Yeah, this is me. I never realized it before but this is absolutely who I am. It took me seeing it to realize it.
I am an emotional person anyway but when God is not the center of my life I definitely find myself more easily depressed. I put God on the back burner all too often. I forget about Him until I'm at church or around godlier people. I do feel like my life is only interesting or meaningful when there is something big happening or there is about to be a big change. I definitely immerse myself in tv and celebrity obsessions to avoid reality. Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep because I'm worrying over my future. Honestly, I fail when it comes to prayer. All those things are enough to tell me that God is not at the center of my life.
But the worst one for me was the motivation one. I am not a morning person....not even a little bit. But I realized recently that it goes beyond that for me. I find it hard to be motivated to get out of bed every morning. It comes from a mind set of "I don't have anything to look forward to today. I'm just gonna get up and do the same thing that I do every other day and what on earth is the point." What a horrible attitude for a christian to have. If God is at the center of my life and is the most important thing to me, then every day has meaning. I would realize that this day is a gift from him. While I really don't have any purpose on my own, He obviously has a plan and a purpose for me being alive today.
I would also realize that in order to live a meaningful life I need to focus on things that won't fade away. I need to invest my life in eternal things, instead of temporary. That's where true satisfaction lies. In living my life to bring glory to my God who saved me and loves me and takes care of me. Purpose is found in pointing others to my Savior. Whether it's by actually telling them or just living in a way that others will want the God that I portray. This gives a whole new meaning to going to that boring job again...while I'm there, I need to be shining the Light of Christ. God gives purpose to the mundane tasks of life and makes it worth it to get out of bed each morning.
He wants us to live an abundant life. Having fun and being entertained is not a bad thing in itself (unless your entertainment goes against God). But living to play is empty and vain as well. And while some temporary things are important, such as having a job to pay the bills, and fixing the car, and doing the laundry....if these things are all we live for life can get pointless and depressing. But God and His eternal purposes bring meaning to life. I hope this will help someone who is like me and struggles with these things. I will try my best to keep updating this site as we learn about Ecclesiasties in Sunday school each week.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wonderful, Merciful Savior
I was reading today in Deuteronomy 4. Moses is telling the children of Israel to be sure to follow the commandments of the Lord. He tells them to keep themselves from corruption and not forget all the things the Lord had done. (4:9, 15-16, 23) He says that "the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God." (4:24) He goes on to say that the Lord will be angry if they corrupt themselves and make graven images. He says the Lord will "destroy" and "scatter" them who provoke him to anger by serving other gods. Then we come to verses 29-31..."But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. When thou art in tribulation and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the LORD thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them."
I am an epic failure at the Christian life. I really am. Only God knows the depths of my stupidity and wickedness. And I tell him over and over and over that I'm gonna do better; that I'm gonna stop _______. Or I'm gonna start _______. And it has come to my attention a lot recently how often I go back on the things I promise the Lord. I corrupt myself. I forget God. I serve myself and the world instead of truly serving him. So then I start to think "I can't pray...I have no right to talk to God. It feels wrong to even open my Bible after how I acted yesterday and the things I said today. After those wrong thoughts I had, why would God hear me?"
I could never ever deserve God's forgiveness, love, or attention. But there is no need to feel discouraged and give up. God says if I return and seek him with my whole heart and ask for forgiveness, he will hear and will take me back. I am SO thankful for his mercies. He is such a merciful, forgiving God. I don't deserve to even speak to him. I have so often pushed him to the side in order to serve myself, forgetting all the things he's done for me. And because of my unfaithfulness, I get myself into a mess. Then I realize I've slipped again and I call out to him. Each time with more guilt because of my continual failings. You would think God would just get tired of it. Tired of us ignoring him until we're in tribulation and then asking for help.
It is with tears that I write this:
"Nevertheless for Thy great mercies sake Thou didst not utterly consume them, nor forsake them, for Thou art a gracious and merciful God."- Nehemiah 9:31
"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not." Lamentations 3:22
"To the LORD our God belong mercies and forgiveness though we have rebelled against him." Daniel 9:9
"In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace." Ephesians 1:7
God is so good. Why does this not drive me more to serve him whole heartedly. Instead I give him half efforts and a lazy attitude. I decide to do, say, listen to, and watch whatever I want instead of listening to him. He has saved me in so many ways. And I just keep sinning. It's sad. It breaks my heart.........
And then I have to smile through the tears and thank God for his mercy. He shows us through his word and through the blessings he gives us how great his mercies are. As Paul said, this grace and mercy should not be a pass to sin more but a push to sin less.
If you want a really beautiful picture of how forgiving God is to people who just keep sinning, check out a couple of my favorite Psalms... Psalm 78 and Psalm 89. When we are truly broken over our sin and ask for forgiveness, he is faithful to forgive. There is just nothing else to say but "What a good God."
"God's mercy is so great that you would sooner drain the sea of its water, deprive the sun of its light, or make space too narrow, than diminish the great mercy of God." C.H. Spurgeon
I am an epic failure at the Christian life. I really am. Only God knows the depths of my stupidity and wickedness. And I tell him over and over and over that I'm gonna do better; that I'm gonna stop _______. Or I'm gonna start _______. And it has come to my attention a lot recently how often I go back on the things I promise the Lord. I corrupt myself. I forget God. I serve myself and the world instead of truly serving him. So then I start to think "I can't pray...I have no right to talk to God. It feels wrong to even open my Bible after how I acted yesterday and the things I said today. After those wrong thoughts I had, why would God hear me?"
I could never ever deserve God's forgiveness, love, or attention. But there is no need to feel discouraged and give up. God says if I return and seek him with my whole heart and ask for forgiveness, he will hear and will take me back. I am SO thankful for his mercies. He is such a merciful, forgiving God. I don't deserve to even speak to him. I have so often pushed him to the side in order to serve myself, forgetting all the things he's done for me. And because of my unfaithfulness, I get myself into a mess. Then I realize I've slipped again and I call out to him. Each time with more guilt because of my continual failings. You would think God would just get tired of it. Tired of us ignoring him until we're in tribulation and then asking for help.
It is with tears that I write this:
"Nevertheless for Thy great mercies sake Thou didst not utterly consume them, nor forsake them, for Thou art a gracious and merciful God."- Nehemiah 9:31
"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not." Lamentations 3:22
"To the LORD our God belong mercies and forgiveness though we have rebelled against him." Daniel 9:9
"In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace." Ephesians 1:7
God is so good. Why does this not drive me more to serve him whole heartedly. Instead I give him half efforts and a lazy attitude. I decide to do, say, listen to, and watch whatever I want instead of listening to him. He has saved me in so many ways. And I just keep sinning. It's sad. It breaks my heart.........
And then I have to smile through the tears and thank God for his mercy. He shows us through his word and through the blessings he gives us how great his mercies are. As Paul said, this grace and mercy should not be a pass to sin more but a push to sin less.
If you want a really beautiful picture of how forgiving God is to people who just keep sinning, check out a couple of my favorite Psalms... Psalm 78 and Psalm 89. When we are truly broken over our sin and ask for forgiveness, he is faithful to forgive. There is just nothing else to say but "What a good God."
"God's mercy is so great that you would sooner drain the sea of its water, deprive the sun of its light, or make space too narrow, than diminish the great mercy of God." C.H. Spurgeon
Friday, March 9, 2012
Betrayal of the worst kind
I was reading recently in Matthew, the account of Jesus being betrayed by Judas and eventually lead to the cross of Calvary. The thought crossed my mind- "How could Judas betray Jesus like that. Just turn his back on the One who had proven Himself to be God. I'm not really in danger of completely and totally turning my back on Him like that. So what can I learn from Judas?" This whole thought process was based on my definition of the word "betray". Then I got to thinking- "I wonder what the actual meaning of the word is." I don't know why I was curious about this other than maybe it was the Lord putting it on my heart. So I looked up the word and this is the actual definition: "To be disloyal to by acting in the interest of the enemy."
Well....this is applicable now isn't it? It was seriously like my blood almost ran cold. Wow... when you hear it like that, I do have something in common with Judas. I have often been disloyal to Jesus by acting in the interest of His enemy, Satan. Every time I choose my way over God's, every time I say something rude or hateful to someone, every time I wallow in self pity, every time I let the world into my music and into my mind through too much entertainment...every time I sin essentially, I am acting in the interest of God's enemy. I am doing what He wants me to do even though it is harmful to my King. This is what betrayal is. Maybe thinking of it this way will help me to sin less.
The encouraging part is, Jesus knew that Judas would betray Him and yet he still chose him. Jesus knows me and my short comings. He knows my idiocy. He knew that I would betray Him even after He so lovingly saved me. But He still saved me and continues to bless me. What a good God. What a loving, merciful, awesome God. This should drive me to thankful obedience to His every word.
"Over time You've healed so much in me
And I am living proof
That although my darkest hour had come
Your light could still shine through.
At times it's just enough to cast
A shadow on the wall
O, I am grateful that You shine
A light on me at all
Who am I?
That You should love me so gently
Who am I?
That You should recognize my name
Who am I?
That You should speak to me so softly
Conversation with a love most high
Who am I?
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.
And the more I sing that sweet old song
The more I understand
That I do not comprehend this love
That's coming from Your hand.
Who am I?
That You would love me so gently
Who am I?
That You would recognize my name
Who am I?
That You would speak to me so softly
Conversation with a love most high
Who am I?
Grace, Grace
God's Grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, Grace
God's Grace
Grace that is greater than all my sin"
-Point of Grace
"Lord, You had the splendor of heaven
A crown a robe and a throne
So what kind of love would lead You to leave
The safety of that kind of home?
I know that You willingly suffered
But why would You suffer for me?
I know what I am and I don't understand
How I could be worth Calvary.
When You knew I was lost
And You knew that a cross
Was the price You'd have to pay
When we cried "Crucify"
Lord, You didn't have to die
But You did it anyway
Now I'll never see
What You saw in me
Cuz You knew I would never be perfect
But I'm just so glad
That somehow You thought I was worth it!
Lord, Sometimes I feel like a vessel
Just useless old pieces of clay
But somehow You saw more
Something worth dying for
You paid more than You should have paid
When You knew I was lost
And You knew that a cross
Was the price You'd have to pay
When we cried "Crucify"
Lord, You didn't have to die
But You did it anyway
Now, I'll never see what You saw in me
Cuz You knew I would never be perfect
But I'm just so glad
That somehow You thought I was worth it!"
-Brian Free and Assurance
Well....this is applicable now isn't it? It was seriously like my blood almost ran cold. Wow... when you hear it like that, I do have something in common with Judas. I have often been disloyal to Jesus by acting in the interest of His enemy, Satan. Every time I choose my way over God's, every time I say something rude or hateful to someone, every time I wallow in self pity, every time I let the world into my music and into my mind through too much entertainment...every time I sin essentially, I am acting in the interest of God's enemy. I am doing what He wants me to do even though it is harmful to my King. This is what betrayal is. Maybe thinking of it this way will help me to sin less.
The encouraging part is, Jesus knew that Judas would betray Him and yet he still chose him. Jesus knows me and my short comings. He knows my idiocy. He knew that I would betray Him even after He so lovingly saved me. But He still saved me and continues to bless me. What a good God. What a loving, merciful, awesome God. This should drive me to thankful obedience to His every word.
"Over time You've healed so much in me
And I am living proof
That although my darkest hour had come
Your light could still shine through.
At times it's just enough to cast
A shadow on the wall
O, I am grateful that You shine
A light on me at all
Who am I?
That You should love me so gently
Who am I?
That You should recognize my name
Who am I?
That You should speak to me so softly
Conversation with a love most high
Who am I?
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.
And the more I sing that sweet old song
The more I understand
That I do not comprehend this love
That's coming from Your hand.
Who am I?
That You would love me so gently
Who am I?
That You would recognize my name
Who am I?
That You would speak to me so softly
Conversation with a love most high
Who am I?
Grace, Grace
God's Grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, Grace
God's Grace
Grace that is greater than all my sin"
-Point of Grace
"Lord, You had the splendor of heaven
A crown a robe and a throne
So what kind of love would lead You to leave
The safety of that kind of home?
I know that You willingly suffered
But why would You suffer for me?
I know what I am and I don't understand
How I could be worth Calvary.
When You knew I was lost
And You knew that a cross
Was the price You'd have to pay
When we cried "Crucify"
Lord, You didn't have to die
But You did it anyway
Now I'll never see
What You saw in me
Cuz You knew I would never be perfect
But I'm just so glad
That somehow You thought I was worth it!
Lord, Sometimes I feel like a vessel
Just useless old pieces of clay
But somehow You saw more
Something worth dying for
You paid more than You should have paid
When You knew I was lost
And You knew that a cross
Was the price You'd have to pay
When we cried "Crucify"
Lord, You didn't have to die
But You did it anyway
Now, I'll never see what You saw in me
Cuz You knew I would never be perfect
But I'm just so glad
That somehow You thought I was worth it!"
-Brian Free and Assurance
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
The cure for discouragement
Well, Satan must be mad that I've made a commitment to draw closer to God with less tv and no "guy talk" over the next month. (See previous posts for more info on that) It's been pretty crazy for the past few days. Here's the low down: I was in a car accident on Saturday. It wasn't my fault and no one was hurt but my car is pretty much totalled. I still need to get it checked out to know for sure but it's pretty bad. The people who hit me are trying to blame me and even though there is absolutely NO WAY it was my fault, the police weren't called and we don't have a whole lot of proof of what happened. (Hey, cut me some slack. I was alone and scared and didn't know what to do.) There were issues first of all because they wouldn't give me their insurance info initially. (They said I didn't need it because it was my fault...which it wasn't. Have I mention that?) Then when I finally called the police later that evening, he told me my best bet was to go and find them (which was also an issue since they didn't give me any contact info. Thankfully they live at the apartment complex across the street), and get their info and take it up with their insurance company. So, by a miracle of God, I was able to find them and get their information. I called the insurance company the next day only to have them tell me that those people had cancelled their insurance and were, therefore, uninsured at the time of the accident. Great. So now it's small claims court time. I've never had to deal with this before and it's pretty scary for me. I have no idea how to go about this. SOO....this is stressful at the moment.
I also found out bad news about my taxes. It's way too complicated to explain but I'm going to be paying a whole lot more than I should be. Then just throw in the fact that I am still up in the air about what I'm doing next year. (Moving back to Missouri or staying in Washington...it all depends on the job situation) I've been filling out applications and sending out resumes like crazy. Plus my landlord just told me I can't get a dog. Yes, this does make me sad. So it may not sound like much but I've gotten bad news of some kind every day since Saturday. It was becoming a little heavy for me. It seemed like everyone around me just wanted to add to the stress a little.
All day yesterday, I had the song "I look to You" by Selah stuck in my head. It seemed random since I hadn't heard it in a while. When I got home from work, I received yet another piece of bad news and proceeded to have a tiny breakdown. Not the worst one I've ever had but there were definitely tears. My roommate did everything she could to cheer me up, including pretty flowers, a hilarious card, and Dr. Pepper. I felt a little better by the end of the night but still didn't know what to do about all the different situations. Right before bed, I opened my Bible. The marker was at Numbers 20. I read about all the bad things that were happening to Israel. They were, first of all, wandering in the desert. They were without water. The people of Edom wouldn't let them pass through their land. Aaron died. And king Arad of Canaan fought against them in the first verse of chapter 21. He even took some of them prisoners. Now, God helped them to defeat these Canaanites but according to 21:4, the people became very discouraged. They were having to go the long way around the land of Edom and with everything else they were dealing with, it just seemed too hard. Their discouragement caused them to speak against God and Moses. It caused them to be unthankful. This made God angry and he sent firey serpents to bite them and many Israelites died.
Moses handled things way differently than I would have...he prayed for the people and God made a way of salvation. Moses was to make a serpent of brass and put it on a pole and if the people but looked on the serpent they would live. This, as most are aware of, is a picture of Christ. The point here, as I heard explained once, is that the people got their eyes off of God and were instead looking at all their horrible circumstances. Everything was going wrong but they were still to keep their focus on God. He had proven time and again that He could handle anything. He hadn't left them. He knew about all of these things.
Lets bring it to today... We often get discouraged because of the circumstances of life. Jobs don't work out how we thought they would. Money is scarce. Health is failing. Relationships don't come when we think they should. People pass away..... We get in car wrecks. We have to pay taxes. We can't get a puppy. Life is just hard sometimes. In my case it's a bunch of issues that I can't really fix or I'm going to have a really difficult time fixing. The key to not letting them overwhelm me is looking to the One who is in control of it all.
"As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all
Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?
I look to You, I look to You
After all my strength is gone
In You I can be strong.
I look to You, I look to You
And when melodies are gone
In You I hear a song
I look to You
About to lose my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door
And every road that I've taken
lead to my regret
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head
I look to You, I look to You
After all my strength is gone
In You I can be strong
I look to You, I look to You
And when melodies are gone
In You I hear a song
I look to You...
And my levees are broken
My walls have come tumbling down on me
The rain is falling
Defeat is calling
I need You to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need You to shine on me....
I look to You..."
(Now, this song, I realized later was originally a Whitney Houston song. I'm not a fan of hers so this is the version I prefer.)
Conclusion: In Numbers 21:10 it says that Israel "set forward". That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna look to the Lord to help me handle all these issues and problems and then I'm gonna move forward and do what I need to do. There is no time for moping about in self pity. God is in control. I must look to Him. This is my new motto... "Look to Him." It's so much more than cliche. Taking our problems and heavy hearts to God is a stress reliever and discouragement lessener. (If that's really a word :))
I also found out bad news about my taxes. It's way too complicated to explain but I'm going to be paying a whole lot more than I should be. Then just throw in the fact that I am still up in the air about what I'm doing next year. (Moving back to Missouri or staying in Washington...it all depends on the job situation) I've been filling out applications and sending out resumes like crazy. Plus my landlord just told me I can't get a dog. Yes, this does make me sad. So it may not sound like much but I've gotten bad news of some kind every day since Saturday. It was becoming a little heavy for me. It seemed like everyone around me just wanted to add to the stress a little.
All day yesterday, I had the song "I look to You" by Selah stuck in my head. It seemed random since I hadn't heard it in a while. When I got home from work, I received yet another piece of bad news and proceeded to have a tiny breakdown. Not the worst one I've ever had but there were definitely tears. My roommate did everything she could to cheer me up, including pretty flowers, a hilarious card, and Dr. Pepper. I felt a little better by the end of the night but still didn't know what to do about all the different situations. Right before bed, I opened my Bible. The marker was at Numbers 20. I read about all the bad things that were happening to Israel. They were, first of all, wandering in the desert. They were without water. The people of Edom wouldn't let them pass through their land. Aaron died. And king Arad of Canaan fought against them in the first verse of chapter 21. He even took some of them prisoners. Now, God helped them to defeat these Canaanites but according to 21:4, the people became very discouraged. They were having to go the long way around the land of Edom and with everything else they were dealing with, it just seemed too hard. Their discouragement caused them to speak against God and Moses. It caused them to be unthankful. This made God angry and he sent firey serpents to bite them and many Israelites died.
Moses handled things way differently than I would have...he prayed for the people and God made a way of salvation. Moses was to make a serpent of brass and put it on a pole and if the people but looked on the serpent they would live. This, as most are aware of, is a picture of Christ. The point here, as I heard explained once, is that the people got their eyes off of God and were instead looking at all their horrible circumstances. Everything was going wrong but they were still to keep their focus on God. He had proven time and again that He could handle anything. He hadn't left them. He knew about all of these things.
Lets bring it to today... We often get discouraged because of the circumstances of life. Jobs don't work out how we thought they would. Money is scarce. Health is failing. Relationships don't come when we think they should. People pass away..... We get in car wrecks. We have to pay taxes. We can't get a puppy. Life is just hard sometimes. In my case it's a bunch of issues that I can't really fix or I'm going to have a really difficult time fixing. The key to not letting them overwhelm me is looking to the One who is in control of it all.
"As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all
Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?
I look to You, I look to You
After all my strength is gone
In You I can be strong.
I look to You, I look to You
And when melodies are gone
In You I hear a song
I look to You
About to lose my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door
And every road that I've taken
lead to my regret
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head
I look to You, I look to You
After all my strength is gone
In You I can be strong
I look to You, I look to You
And when melodies are gone
In You I hear a song
I look to You...
And my levees are broken
My walls have come tumbling down on me
The rain is falling
Defeat is calling
I need You to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need You to shine on me....
I look to You..."
(Now, this song, I realized later was originally a Whitney Houston song. I'm not a fan of hers so this is the version I prefer.)
Conclusion: In Numbers 21:10 it says that Israel "set forward". That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna look to the Lord to help me handle all these issues and problems and then I'm gonna move forward and do what I need to do. There is no time for moping about in self pity. God is in control. I must look to Him. This is my new motto... "Look to Him." It's so much more than cliche. Taking our problems and heavy hearts to God is a stress reliever and discouragement lessener. (If that's really a word :))
Friday, February 24, 2012
How long til you believe?
My Bible reading for today was in Numbers 14. It's right after Moses had sent the 12 spies into the land of Canaan and 10 came back with an "evil report" and 2 came back saying "We can do this! God is on our side!" The people of Isael chose to listen to the 10 who were fearful and doubting. They lifted up their voice and cried. They murmured against Moses and Aaron. They started to wish that they had just stayed slaves in Egypt. Moses and Aaron tried to show them that the Lord was on their side and he could be trusted to take them into the promised land but the people wouldn't listen (14:10). Finally, God says to Moses in verse 11- "How long will this people provoke me? and how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed among them?" This verse stuck out to me. It was like it was written with my name in it... "How long will Jenny provoke me? and how long will it be ere she believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed her."
How many times has God come through for me? Too many to count. Many I don't even realize, I'm sure. How many times has he shown Himself mighty? How many times has He done something truely amazing and miraculous? How many times has He provided right on time?....and yet how many times have I taken matters into my own hands? Or, more often, worried myself literally sick over an issue and wondering if God was going to provide? Whether it be for a job, or whether or not I'll meet a guy, or where money will come from. Worry, while natural and easy to do, is essentially doubting God which makes it a sin. This isn't really news to me. No great new revelation. I've known that worry was a sin for a long time. But I still do it. Why is it so hard for me to trust God? "With all the many miracles, why don't you think it's possible?..." as a popular southern gospel song puts it.
Well in the case of the Israelites, I suppose it was just that they forgot about all the things God had done in the past. Perhaps (and this is just speculation) they forgot about them because they weren't thankful for them. Someone can correct me if I'm totally off base here but it seems to me if they were really thankful for all the ways God had caused them to stand in awe by providing for them in miraculous ways or protected them from their towering enemies etc...they would not so easily forget. Just a thought. Maybe they were just too used to it and therefore not appreciative enough to remember it.
I'm not harping on them at all either. That's me all the way. I'm so prone to forget what God has done for me. I've heard of people keeping a blessing journal. I tried this once and it was really helpful. Like many things in my life, I got lazy and was undisciplined and didn't keep up with it. (I really really can't stand that about myself.) Anyways... I think I will try to start one again. That way when I start to worry that God won't come through for me, I can go back and remember all the times He has.
Secondly (and lastly...I know this has been a long post), I have heard it said that if we don't know God it is because we don't know Him well enough. How do we get to know someone well enough to really trust them? By spending time with them. I doubt God's ability because I don't know it well enough. I don't spend enough time in prayer and Bible reading....that's what so many problems boil down to isn't it? I'm really thankful for verse 18 which says "The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression..." The verse goes on to say that God doesn't excuse sin. But He is so good in that He does forgive it when it's acknowledged. If you have not been believing God, confess it and be forgiven. Spend time with Him so that He can prove to you that He is so trustworthy. That's my plan.
So I would encourage anyone else struggling to believe that God is able to_________ (fill in the blank)...you should make a list of all the things God has done. From the every day little blessings and proof of Himself to the miraculous things that show off His power. Then spend time with Him. Maybe it would be good to do a study on the character of God or on the miracles of God.
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time." --Oswald Chambers
"God gave the bold command To cross the Jordan and take the land
Not to worry about the giants they would face
But when the spies returned To tell the others what they had learned
They said, “For us to win, there’s just no way.”
Still two of them trusted God, Caleb and Joshua
They said, “Children, don’t believe what you have heard.
We know we’re out manned by far, They’re much bigger than we are.
But let’s not forget just Who it is we serve.”
With all the many miracles
Why don’t you think it’s possible?
With all the many things we’ve seen
Why do you think it’s just a dream?
With all the things He’s done for us
Don’t you think it’s time we trust?
Remember what is possible
With all the many miracles.
Like when we were about to die, Manna fell from the sky.
Then water came from a dry old dusty rock.
And back when Pharaoh was closing in, God closed the sea again
But not before we all had safely crossed.
So here you are my friend
You face a battle you cannot win
You tell yourself, “There's just no need to try”
Consider how good God’s been
He’s been faithful time and again,
You must believe and here’s the reason why...
With all the many miracles
Why don’t you think it’s possible?
With all the many things we’ve seen
Why do you think it’s just a dream?
With all the things He’s done for us
Don’t you think it’s time we trust?
Remember what is possible
With all the many miracles."
By Rodney Griffin, Greater Vision
How many times has God come through for me? Too many to count. Many I don't even realize, I'm sure. How many times has he shown Himself mighty? How many times has He done something truely amazing and miraculous? How many times has He provided right on time?....and yet how many times have I taken matters into my own hands? Or, more often, worried myself literally sick over an issue and wondering if God was going to provide? Whether it be for a job, or whether or not I'll meet a guy, or where money will come from. Worry, while natural and easy to do, is essentially doubting God which makes it a sin. This isn't really news to me. No great new revelation. I've known that worry was a sin for a long time. But I still do it. Why is it so hard for me to trust God? "With all the many miracles, why don't you think it's possible?..." as a popular southern gospel song puts it.
Well in the case of the Israelites, I suppose it was just that they forgot about all the things God had done in the past. Perhaps (and this is just speculation) they forgot about them because they weren't thankful for them. Someone can correct me if I'm totally off base here but it seems to me if they were really thankful for all the ways God had caused them to stand in awe by providing for them in miraculous ways or protected them from their towering enemies etc...they would not so easily forget. Just a thought. Maybe they were just too used to it and therefore not appreciative enough to remember it.
I'm not harping on them at all either. That's me all the way. I'm so prone to forget what God has done for me. I've heard of people keeping a blessing journal. I tried this once and it was really helpful. Like many things in my life, I got lazy and was undisciplined and didn't keep up with it. (I really really can't stand that about myself.) Anyways... I think I will try to start one again. That way when I start to worry that God won't come through for me, I can go back and remember all the times He has.
Secondly (and lastly...I know this has been a long post), I have heard it said that if we don't know God it is because we don't know Him well enough. How do we get to know someone well enough to really trust them? By spending time with them. I doubt God's ability because I don't know it well enough. I don't spend enough time in prayer and Bible reading....that's what so many problems boil down to isn't it? I'm really thankful for verse 18 which says "The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression..." The verse goes on to say that God doesn't excuse sin. But He is so good in that He does forgive it when it's acknowledged. If you have not been believing God, confess it and be forgiven. Spend time with Him so that He can prove to you that He is so trustworthy. That's my plan.
So I would encourage anyone else struggling to believe that God is able to_________ (fill in the blank)...you should make a list of all the things God has done. From the every day little blessings and proof of Himself to the miraculous things that show off His power. Then spend time with Him. Maybe it would be good to do a study on the character of God or on the miracles of God.
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time." --Oswald Chambers
"God gave the bold command To cross the Jordan and take the land
Not to worry about the giants they would face
But when the spies returned To tell the others what they had learned
They said, “For us to win, there’s just no way.”
Still two of them trusted God, Caleb and Joshua
They said, “Children, don’t believe what you have heard.
We know we’re out manned by far, They’re much bigger than we are.
But let’s not forget just Who it is we serve.”
With all the many miracles
Why don’t you think it’s possible?
With all the many things we’ve seen
Why do you think it’s just a dream?
With all the things He’s done for us
Don’t you think it’s time we trust?
Remember what is possible
With all the many miracles.
Like when we were about to die, Manna fell from the sky.
Then water came from a dry old dusty rock.
And back when Pharaoh was closing in, God closed the sea again
But not before we all had safely crossed.
So here you are my friend
You face a battle you cannot win
You tell yourself, “There's just no need to try”
Consider how good God’s been
He’s been faithful time and again,
You must believe and here’s the reason why...
With all the many miracles
Why don’t you think it’s possible?
With all the many things we’ve seen
Why do you think it’s just a dream?
With all the things He’s done for us
Don’t you think it’s time we trust?
Remember what is possible
With all the many miracles."
By Rodney Griffin, Greater Vision
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Spring Cleaning
"Where am I today? I wish that I knew.
Cuz looking around, there's no sign of you.
I don't remember one jump or one leap
Just quiet steps away from your lead..."
Over the past couple of years, my focus has shifted...a lot. I'm not exactly sure where it started. I'm sure that's because it wasn't "one jump or one leap. Just quiet steps away..." from the Lord. It seems I am the most undisciplined, unfocused person I know. I'm so easily distracted. And every time I say "I'm gonna do better!" with great enthusiasm.... I end up right back where I was before...complacent. Well, through a series of conversations, my roommate and I decided we both needed to refocus our lives. We surmised: "It might be easier to be content with our lives if we stop focusing on what our lives could be or how we wish they would be and focus on the lives He's given us." (Makes sense right...Yeah...I'm a little slow sometimes.)
SO! To do this, I need to clean some things out of my life. I need to eliminate distractions. So heres the plan: For one month I will-
1. Not watch any romance movies....this is a big deal for me.
2. Not allow myself to dwell on the good looks of guys....I have major issues with developing these ridiculous crushes on actors. I know! I'm a child, right!?
3. I will saturate myself with Christian music....yes...even after Bible college, I still struggle with music.
4. Read my Bible every day. Sounds simple but I struggle with it. So before any tv or computer, I must have read my Bible for the day.
5. Put more effort into my job. I am a nanny at this point in my life. It is often hard for me to find motivation to do much with my kids. I have a hard time seeing the purpose in my job. BUT! God has a reason for me being there and I need to give it my all. So I am going to plan activities and really spend time nurturing and loving and teaching these two little cuties.
6. Do the little things....Like keeping on top of laundry and cleaning my house and my car. I will not just come home from work and fall on the couch and watch tv.
7. Exercise. I sincerely want to lose weight and get in shape. I've been doing Billy Blank's bootcamp pretty much every night...he kills me. But it's fun and I feel better about myself.
Anyways...there are more things that I plan to do and not do but that is the jist of it. I just want to focus on the things that are important and stop waiting around for my life to begin...This IS my life! I need to stop worrying about the future and start living this life that God's given me. I don't want to waste what time I've been given. If I ever get married...GREAT! But if not, I will trust that God has a plan and reason and I will do my best to be content. If I never have my perfect, dream job as a Christian school teacher...God still knows what He's doing and I will not spend my time moping around and being lazy. I will work with a passion and seek Him to find the purpose in my life, not a job.
So these are just my thoughts and sort of an update. Let the purging and cleansing begin. One of my other goals is to blog more since I am going to be watching a lot less tv. So I will try my hardest to keep you updated. :)
Cuz looking around, there's no sign of you.
I don't remember one jump or one leap
Just quiet steps away from your lead..."
Over the past couple of years, my focus has shifted...a lot. I'm not exactly sure where it started. I'm sure that's because it wasn't "one jump or one leap. Just quiet steps away..." from the Lord. It seems I am the most undisciplined, unfocused person I know. I'm so easily distracted. And every time I say "I'm gonna do better!" with great enthusiasm.... I end up right back where I was before...complacent. Well, through a series of conversations, my roommate and I decided we both needed to refocus our lives. We surmised: "It might be easier to be content with our lives if we stop focusing on what our lives could be or how we wish they would be and focus on the lives He's given us." (Makes sense right...Yeah...I'm a little slow sometimes.)
SO! To do this, I need to clean some things out of my life. I need to eliminate distractions. So heres the plan: For one month I will-
1. Not watch any romance movies....this is a big deal for me.
2. Not allow myself to dwell on the good looks of guys....I have major issues with developing these ridiculous crushes on actors. I know! I'm a child, right!?
3. I will saturate myself with Christian music....yes...even after Bible college, I still struggle with music.
4. Read my Bible every day. Sounds simple but I struggle with it. So before any tv or computer, I must have read my Bible for the day.
5. Put more effort into my job. I am a nanny at this point in my life. It is often hard for me to find motivation to do much with my kids. I have a hard time seeing the purpose in my job. BUT! God has a reason for me being there and I need to give it my all. So I am going to plan activities and really spend time nurturing and loving and teaching these two little cuties.
6. Do the little things....Like keeping on top of laundry and cleaning my house and my car. I will not just come home from work and fall on the couch and watch tv.
7. Exercise. I sincerely want to lose weight and get in shape. I've been doing Billy Blank's bootcamp pretty much every night...he kills me. But it's fun and I feel better about myself.
Anyways...there are more things that I plan to do and not do but that is the jist of it. I just want to focus on the things that are important and stop waiting around for my life to begin...This IS my life! I need to stop worrying about the future and start living this life that God's given me. I don't want to waste what time I've been given. If I ever get married...GREAT! But if not, I will trust that God has a plan and reason and I will do my best to be content. If I never have my perfect, dream job as a Christian school teacher...God still knows what He's doing and I will not spend my time moping around and being lazy. I will work with a passion and seek Him to find the purpose in my life, not a job.
So these are just my thoughts and sort of an update. Let the purging and cleansing begin. One of my other goals is to blog more since I am going to be watching a lot less tv. So I will try my hardest to keep you updated. :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Who do you think you're talking to?!
I heard an excellent sermon tonight at Bible study! Bro. Kyle (my pastor) has started a series on prayer and it is exactly what I need! Tonight he talked about Luke 11:2 where Jesus is teaching his followers how to pray. (Actually, what's interesting is that they didn't ask to be shown how to pray- anyone can word a prayer- but they asked for Jesus to teach them "TO pray". To REALLY pray. And part of doing that is knowing who you're talking to). So in verse 2 he tells them to pray after this manner- "Our Father which art in heaven...." That line was all he focused on tonight. Who knew so much could be said in 6 little words!
Jesus said that when we pray we should remember that we are speaking to our heavenly Father. What is a father? A father is the provider, protector, corrector, life giver, and loving teacher of a family and home. Our heavenly Father, as expressed later in the chapter is so much better even than the best earthly father. I am very thankful for my dad. He is a reliable, trustworthy, hardworking, loving provider for our family and he is so wise! He makes me feel safe. But as much as I love him, he cannot compare to my heavenly Father. He is the ultimate provider (since He owns everything) and protector (since He is the Almighty One). He loves me SO much! This is the Father I pray to.
So often we just utter the phrase "Dear heavenly Father" at the beginning of our prayer and we go on into a ritualistic, routine, dry, empty prayer mostly full of selfish requests. But if we were to truly dwell for just a moment on who we are talking to and why we are able to call Him our Father and what it means to have the King of kings as our Father, it would change the way we come before him.
The verse also says "which art in heaven...". This phrase may seem unimportant...like "Duh- where else would he be." But it helps us to remember that he is SOOOOOO much higher than we are. He is in heaven. Heaven, a perfect, holy place, is his dwelling place. He has to humble himself to even look at earth. This high and lofty One, this Mighty One with so much power and majesty is the one we pray to. The one that we are commanded to pray to. The one that tells us to cast our cares upon Him for He careth for us. WOW! That's humbling and empowering all at the same time. Remembering just the meaning behind that short phrase brings us to God on our knees in a sort of humble boldness. It brings us to him in the right attitude.
"Prayer should not be regarded as a duty which must be performed, but rather as a privilege to be enjoyed..."
Jesus said that when we pray we should remember that we are speaking to our heavenly Father. What is a father? A father is the provider, protector, corrector, life giver, and loving teacher of a family and home. Our heavenly Father, as expressed later in the chapter is so much better even than the best earthly father. I am very thankful for my dad. He is a reliable, trustworthy, hardworking, loving provider for our family and he is so wise! He makes me feel safe. But as much as I love him, he cannot compare to my heavenly Father. He is the ultimate provider (since He owns everything) and protector (since He is the Almighty One). He loves me SO much! This is the Father I pray to.
So often we just utter the phrase "Dear heavenly Father" at the beginning of our prayer and we go on into a ritualistic, routine, dry, empty prayer mostly full of selfish requests. But if we were to truly dwell for just a moment on who we are talking to and why we are able to call Him our Father and what it means to have the King of kings as our Father, it would change the way we come before him.
The verse also says "which art in heaven...". This phrase may seem unimportant...like "Duh- where else would he be." But it helps us to remember that he is SOOOOOO much higher than we are. He is in heaven. Heaven, a perfect, holy place, is his dwelling place. He has to humble himself to even look at earth. This high and lofty One, this Mighty One with so much power and majesty is the one we pray to. The one that we are commanded to pray to. The one that tells us to cast our cares upon Him for He careth for us. WOW! That's humbling and empowering all at the same time. Remembering just the meaning behind that short phrase brings us to God on our knees in a sort of humble boldness. It brings us to him in the right attitude.
"Prayer should not be regarded as a duty which must be performed, but rather as a privilege to be enjoyed..."
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