Guilty as charged

I have a nasty habit of thinking that I have everyone around me figured out. I'm really bad about thinking that everyone has double motives and that people don't really mean what they say. I suppose the reality of it is that I struggle with being judgmental. Wow, I'm sure being transparent. A thought struck me out of no where today... I hate it when people think they know my motives and they judge me based on who they THINK I am and why they THINK I'm doing something. Now, isn't that something. Maybe the reason I always feel like people judge me and falsely accuse me is because I do that to other people.
So this thought hit me as I was walking back from class and when I got in my room I decided to read my Bible some more since my time was cut short this morning by dorm duties. So I opened up where I left off in Luke 6:27-49- It's all about loving your enemies (which I needed to read) and forgiving (which I also needed) and JUDGING others. It says "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive and ye shall be forgiven." If I don't want others judging me and my motives then why should I feel at liberty to do that to them. Goodness! This is something that I need to work on.
I was also reading vs 39-49 about being a hypocrite. It was like that was written just for me. The words "Thou hypocrite" in the middle of verse 42 seemed to be directed right at me. It might as well have said "Jenny, you hypocrite..." I always seem to know what is wrong with everyone else but do I do much to try to fix my own problems? I'm not one to sit around and act like I don't have problems but do I do anything to fix the ones I have. Before I can help anyone else or judge anyone else or lift someone else up, I first have to get myself right. I need to stop being a hypocrite! Stop pretending! Stop trying to judge others when I do the same things. Stop trying to help others out of their sin when I still struggle with getting up to read my Bible everyday. Lord, Please help me!

loving the unlovely

I watched fire proof while I was home for spring break. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! I didn't really think much about how I could apply it to my life (since I'm not married) until I came back to school. I was thinking about the part of the movie where Kirk Cameron is telling his dad that his wife just keeps rejecting him after all he's done for her and she just spits in his face and treats him like dirt. He says "How can you love someone who treats you like that?" His dad makes his point about how God loves us even when we spit in His face after all He's done for us.
This puts things in a different light. I get so angry sometimes at a friend who ignores me for someone she thinks is more important right now. What's even more irritating, I think, is the fact that she keeps saying that she loves me and that we are best friends but she won't treat me like her best friend. In fact we are very distant. It would be different if she would just admit that right now, this other person is more important to her and she doesn't care about my opinions or spending time with me. It may hurt my feelings but at least I wouldn't feel hurt and lied to.
Now, here's what I've noticed... This scenario could easily depict my walk with Christ. I ignore Him so often for someone or something else that, in my mind is more important. On top of that, I still tell everyone, and tell Him, that I still love Him and want to spend time with Him. But in reality, often times I am distant from Him and really don't act like I care what He thinks or that spending time with Him is valuable to me at all. Now, how can I rightfully be so angry at someone doing that to me... I do the same thing to the Almighty God who loves me beyond measure.
And another thing- Even after Kirk Cameron starts really trying to save his marriage and doing all these sweet things to show his wife he cares, she is still mean to him. Does that stop him? No. He just keeps giving and loving. I believe that this is because he realized what kind of love he had been loved with (by Christ) and that placed on him a burden to love his wife the same way. We should be trying to love others with the same love that Christ gives us.
This is something that I think is going to take me a long time to fully grasp and practice consistently but it's helped me tonight, specifically. Hope it has made someone think about how they have been loving others.
"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving"
"If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the 20th), then I know nothing of Calvary's love... If I am perturbed by the reproach and misunderstanding that may follow action taken for the good of souls for whom I must give account; if I cannot commit the matter and go on in peace and in silence, remembering Gethsemane and the cross, then I know nothing of Calvary's love..." Amy Carmichael

The Christ in Me

My friend gave a devotion in the dorm the other night about complaining. Her point was that others are constantly watching us. What do we want them to see in us? When others see us having a bad day or complaining, it makes them think that Jesus is not capable of making us happy. Why would they want a part in the Christ who cannot satisfy or bring true joy? We may not always be bubbly and giddy but even when we are not having the best day, we should display a joy and peace that tells others that we will be ok again. This circumstance is not the end of the world. We don't live without hope.
So what do we complain about and how do we stop?
Well, # 1- we complain about our circumstances: The weather is bad, my hair is messed up, I was late to class, I'm hungry, I have a headache, I'm broke, some girl is being mean to me, my boyfriend broke up with me.... many many many other things... the list could go on forever. Notice though, that most of these things cannot be changed anyway. We have no control over them. But we do know the one who is in control of every circumstance. Let's take our problems to Him instead of bringing those around us down and gaining a bad testimony. This is something that I will have to be working on a lot!
The second thing we complain about are the rules in our lives. This majorly applies to me in college and probably to those of you who are in high school as well, but this can also apply to any Christian who is living with standards in their life and sometimes wonders "What is the point. I don't want to wear these skirts anymore. I want to listen to that music I use to listen to. I want to watch this movie." We have a tendency to complain about the rules that our God given authority have set over us. It might help us to not complain about our authority or the rules if we look at the life of David. David was being chased by the king. Saul wanted to kill him! David knew that Saul was the one in the wrong and that he had been anointed the next king of Israel. But even when he had a justified opportunity to disrespect Saul, he didn't. In fact he gave him more respect than he deserved. God blessed David for this.
Now, if David, who had every right to complain, was still respectful and took his problem to the Lord, don't you think we can to? Who do others see in you? The Christ that makes you complain, or the Christ who makes you joyful in spite of rules and circumstances?
Just something to consider. Sorry it's been so long between posts. :(

Devo- The Blessing of Burdens

This is a copy of the devo I gave in the dorm on Saturday night. It's kinda long and one of the stories is a repeat from an earlier post but if you can read through it all, I hope it can help someone.

The blessing in the burdens

Everyone is always telling us to look on the bright side of things. Sometimes that is hard to do when you are struggling under the load of a burden. But there are some blessings wrapped up inside those burdens.

I. The first blessing is that God always has a purpose in bringing trials upon our lives.
A. Tea cup story- A couple in England passed a china shop that had a lovely teacup displayed in the window. When they went inside to see it more closely, the teacup suddenly spoke. "You don’t understand. I haven’t always been a teacup. There was a time when I was a lump of red clay. My master took me, rolled me, and patted me again and again. I screamed for him to stop, to leave me alone. But, he continued to mold me, answering, ‘Not yet.’"
"Then, I was placed on a wheel and spun around and around. It made me dizzy, spinning on and on like that. But the master didn’t stop when I begged him to take me off the wheel. He continued to shape and to mold me."
"Then, he put me in the oven. I had never felt such intense heat! I wondered if he wanted me to burn up. I screamed and beat on the door to get out. I could see the master through the opening. I read his lips, as he said, ‘Not yet.’"
"Finally, the door did open. The master picked me up and put me on a shelf. I began to cool. That felt better. Suddenly, he brushed me and painted me all over. The fumes were terrible! I thought I would surely choke to death. I was gasping for air and hurting inside from the heat and choking on the fumes."
"Soon, he put me in another oven that was twice as hot as the first one. I knew for sure this time I would surely suffocate. I begged my master to stop. All the time I could see him shaking his head and saying, ‘Not yet.’"
"I felt there was no help. I knew I could never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then, the door opened. The master took me out and I could see that he was pleased with his work. He handed me a mirror and told me to look at myself. I did and said, ‘That’s not me! It couldn't be! I’m so shiny and beautiful!’"
The master said to me: "I want you to know I had to roll you and pat you to give you shape. If I had left you alone, you would have dried up. I know the wheel made you dizzy and sick, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and was hot and unpleasant in the baking oven, but if I had not put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed you and painted you all over. But, you see, if I had not done that, you would never have hardened. If I had not put you in the second oven, you would not have survived for very long, for you would have been brittle and would have soon broken. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with a lump of clay." ~Anonymous~

B. Romans 8:28 tells us that God is working all things together for His good purpose. That good purpose is to make us more like Christ. He makes us more like Christ by bringing trials into our lives sometimes. These trials serve one of two purposes:
1. To teach us a lesson. Sometimes we get prideful and need to be humbled in order to be more like Christ. Sometimes we stray from Him and He has to use difficult circumstances to bring us back to Him. Sometimes He has to use difficult circumstances to soften our hearts so that he can mold us and shape us.
2. To make us stronger in Him. It is during our hard times that we find ourselves singing "I need thee every hour". If there were never any problems then we wouldn't know that He could solve them. We would go about thinking that we could handle it ourselves. We learn to depend on Him through our hard times.
So, the first blessing in our burden is to know that God always has a reason. He always has our best in mind. He is trying to mold us and make us beautiful and useful for Him.

II. The second blessing in our burdens is that we don't have to bear them alone.
A. Psalm 55:22, I Peter 5:7
B. There once was a family that consisted of a husband and wife and their little girl. One day, the wife was killed in a terrible car accident. The night of the funeral, after all the family had gone home, the man took his little girl home for the first time with no one else around and they were very lonely. The man tucked his daughter into bed and flipped the light switch. She gasped as he did and cried "Daddy, I'm scared. I can't see you. Can I come sleep in your room?" "Sure, honey" the father said. They climbed into bed and the daddy kissed the little girl goodnight. He reached over and turned the bedside lamp off and the little girl started crying again. "Daddy, it's dark in here, and I can't see you. Are you still here?" "Yes, sweetie I'm still here" the dad reassured her. "Well are you facing me right now?" she enquired in a concerned voice. "Yes, I'm facing you." "Okay, then I think I can fall asleep now." And within a few minutes she was fast asleep.
In the dark of the midnight, the father lay awake. He missed his wife terribly. He was so unsure about the future and how he was going to raise their little girl. His heart was broken. Finally, he slipped out of bed and onto his knees. He prayed "Father, It's dark. I can't see you right now… are you still here." He felt the Lord say "Yes, child, I'm still here." "God, I'm scared… are you facing me right now." "Yes, Child, My face is always turned toward you." "Okay, then I think I can go to sleep now." The man crawled back into bed and fell fast asleep with the peace of God in his heart.
C. Whatever burden we are carrying, the Lord tells us not to fear. He is right there beside us. He promises that we don't have to bear these burdens alone. The only stipulation is that he wants us to cast them on him. This requires action on our part.
1. I work at a daycare and there are times when a child, somehow, gets their hands on something that is dangerous for them to have, like a pair of scissors. I immediately go over and take it from them. But there are some times when a child has something that I simply don't want them to have at that moment. It could be a toy or someone else's sippy cup etc… In this case, I go over and say to the child "You need to give that to me. It's not for you to have." I stick out my hand and I expect that child to give the item to me. I am bigger than him, so I could take it by force. But how much better is it for that child to learn to willingly give it over to the one who has authority over them.
2. God may take things from us that are harmful to us without asking for it. But he tells us to GIVE Him our burdens. We have to be willing to lay it in the hands of the one who has authority in our lives. We have to trust that he knows what's best. When we learn to give it to him, we show trust and respect.

Conclusion- When you find yourself shouldering burdens that are too heavy for you, remember that there are a couple blessings we can see in them. 1. God always has a reason. We may not know it right now, but in time he will reveal it to us. He is trying to make us beautiful and useful for Him. 2. We don't have to bear them alone. God is ready to take our burdens. We just have to be willing to give them to Him. Lay them at His feet and don't pick them up again.

My mom gave me the story of the teacup and Bro. Claud Slate, my youth pastor when I was in high school, gave me the one about the little girl. :)

It's His choice

There was a man preaching Sunday school about a month ago in Bro. Gaddis' place while he was out preaching and he preached on the story of Jesus healing the blind man. The pharisees got so angry and were asking the man and his parents about it and the man just told them "All I know is that I was blind but now I see". At the beginning of the story the disciples ask Jesus why the man was born blind. Jesus answers- "...that the works of God might be made manifest in Him". Something that the preacher mentioned almost in passing stuck with me... We do not get to decide how God manifests His glory through us. The man was blind from birth for no other reason but that God might get the glory for healing him. It seems as though it would not be worth it to that man. But how great it must be to know that God chose to show himself mighty through your circumstances. How awesome must it have been for that man to finally have a reason for his sufferings and to know that the reason was that God's glory might be made manifest through him.
We cannot say "I want God to manifest His glory through me" and then expect that he do it through our preaching or teaching or singing ability etc... We must accept that sometimes God chooses to show himself through us through our hard times and difficult circumstances. He does show himself through some people's preaching and teaching and singing but some he chooses to work through their trials. If you are going through a hard time or have difficult circumstances in your life, remember, God may have put you there or allowed that to happen because he has chosen to manifest His glory through your life...He just chose to do it through your trials. Are you going to make it easy for Him to show himself through your trials by peacefully accepting it and learning from it so that you can share it with others or are you going to lose your testimony by complaining and becoming bitter? He is God, is he not? He gets to decide how He shows himself mighty. Trust Him.
"If I never had a problem, I wouldn't know that He could solve them."

Conforming in a good way

I was reading in Philippians this morning. 3:10 was what caught my attention today. In the preceding verses, Paul was talking about how if anyone was justifyed in having confidence in the flesh, it would have been him. He was elite. But then Paul goes on to express that it didn't matter who he was or what he had. Everything he was and had hindered him from serving Christ the way he should. He was knew that it wasn't about how good HE was, but about having God's rigteousness and KNOWING HIM. We focus on that part of the verse a lot and rightfully so because it is a great thought... to be able to KNOW Christ Almighty. But I've really been trying to do more than just read lately. I've been trying to dig a little deeper and write down what I find in a journal. I think it helps me to apply it to everyday life, to remember it, and to think about it on a deeper level when I write down what I read in my own words and write down what I can take from it.
Well, I noticed that not many people preach about the end of that verse that says, "being made conformable unto His death". I thought about what that means for a bit and what I thought about was... "Why would we want to be conformamble to His death and not His life?" So I asked myself..."What was it about Christ's death that I would need to apply to my life? The more I KNOW Him, the more I know of His death, right? So what do I know of Christ's death?
I know He was forgiving. I need to be conforming to that trait. But what else is there about His death? What kind of death was it that I need to be conforming to?
It was a death of Sacrifice. I need to learn what it means to show devotion by sacrifice. Have I ever really given up anything of real importance for God? Convicting question.
It was a death of Surrender. This goes along the same lines but I think more of surrender of self-will. Jesus said "Not my will but Thine be done." I need to have this attitude in my life. I need to let go of what I want to do and just trust my Father and what He has for me.
It was a death that showed great love for others. This is something that I need to work on. Showing others that I really care for them and love them.
Lord, teach me to love people like you love them.
This is the kind of death we are to be conformable to. It makes sense now, doesn't it. I probably didn't reveal anything new to anyone but I had never personally thought about what it meant to be conformable to His death.
Just some thoughts from my Bible reading. Hope it made sense.

Learning to keep my mouth shut

I've decided to do a study on the mouth. I have discovered that I have serious issues holding my tongue. I always say things at the wrong time or, more often, say things too harshly because I don't think before I speak...I just say what I feel without stopping to think if that was appropriate or necessary to say. I hate knowing, as well, that some incident could have been taken care of if I would have carefully chosen a different tone of voice and watched how I said it. I also like to argue. Well I hate arguing but I do it because I want to be right. Again, it's a pride issue. But the Lord is really trying to teach me something about it because lately I have been in situations where, as much as I want to argue my case and make a point and make someone else feel as bad as they just made me feel or give my opinion, I have got to learn to keep my mouth shut. So I decided to go through my concordance and write down all the relevant references on the mouth. I'm going to, along with the rest of my Bible reading, go over a verse or two each morning and try to memorize it and do my best to apply it through out the day. It's only been a couple days but I have already been able to apply it. I will tell you this, it takes some humbling. You have to swallow your pride in order to keep your mouth shut. But I feel closer to the Lord already. It's really cool to be close enough to the Lord right now to be able to say a silent prayer in my mind whenever I talk to someone and ask Him to guard my mouth and give me wisdom in what I say and how I say it. And He Does!! And so many fights and bad moods are avoided and I feel good cuz I know I'm doing the right thing.
If this is not an area you struggle with, I encourage you to find some area in your life that could use some work and just do a study on it and memorize scripture about it and ask the Lord to help you specifically in each situation where you are faced with it. It could be in the area of worrying, gossiping, lusting, thinking bad or mean thoughts about someone, pride etc.... God promises to take a step toward us if we first take a step toward Him: "Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you." (side note- I don't have my Bible in front of me or one handy so I don't know for sure if that's quoted exactly right or where the reference is).
"Lord, make my words as sweet as honey, for tomorrow I may have to eat them!" --Anonymous
"Help me guard my lips, O Saviour, Keep me sweet when sorely tried, Answers soft to others giving, Meekly swallowing my pride." --Basch
"Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken." --Orson Scott Card
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter -- 'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." --Mark Twain