"Where am I today? I wish that I knew.
Cuz looking around, there's no sign of you.
I don't remember one jump or one leap
Just quiet steps away from your lead..."
Over the past couple of years, my focus has shifted...a lot. I'm not exactly sure where it started. I'm sure that's because it wasn't "one jump or one leap. Just quiet steps away..." from the Lord. It seems I am the most undisciplined, unfocused person I know. I'm so easily distracted. And every time I say "I'm gonna do better!" with great enthusiasm.... I end up right back where I was before...complacent. Well, through a series of conversations, my roommate and I decided we both needed to refocus our lives. We surmised: "It might be easier to be content with our lives if we stop focusing on what our lives could be or how we wish they would be and focus on the lives He's given us." (Makes sense right...Yeah...I'm a little slow sometimes.)
SO! To do this, I need to clean some things out of my life. I need to eliminate distractions. So heres the plan: For one month I will-
1. Not watch any romance movies....this is a big deal for me.
2. Not allow myself to dwell on the good looks of guys....I have major issues with developing these ridiculous crushes on actors. I know! I'm a child, right!?
3. I will saturate myself with Christian music....yes...even after Bible college, I still struggle with music.
4. Read my Bible every day. Sounds simple but I struggle with it. So before any tv or computer, I must have read my Bible for the day.
5. Put more effort into my job. I am a nanny at this point in my life. It is often hard for me to find motivation to do much with my kids. I have a hard time seeing the purpose in my job. BUT! God has a reason for me being there and I need to give it my all. So I am going to plan activities and really spend time nurturing and loving and teaching these two little cuties.
6. Do the little things....Like keeping on top of laundry and cleaning my house and my car. I will not just come home from work and fall on the couch and watch tv.
7. Exercise. I sincerely want to lose weight and get in shape. I've been doing Billy Blank's bootcamp pretty much every night...he kills me. But it's fun and I feel better about myself.
Anyways...there are more things that I plan to do and not do but that is the jist of it. I just want to focus on the things that are important and stop waiting around for my life to begin...This IS my life! I need to stop worrying about the future and start living this life that God's given me. I don't want to waste what time I've been given. If I ever get married...GREAT! But if not, I will trust that God has a plan and reason and I will do my best to be content. If I never have my perfect, dream job as a Christian school teacher...God still knows what He's doing and I will not spend my time moping around and being lazy. I will work with a passion and seek Him to find the purpose in my life, not a job.
So these are just my thoughts and sort of an update. Let the purging and cleansing begin. One of my other goals is to blog more since I am going to be watching a lot less tv. So I will try my hardest to keep you updated. :)